ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
