No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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