whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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