You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
