I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
