Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
