found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
