As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
