When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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