Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
