i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
