I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
