All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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