Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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