dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
