You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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