dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize