can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
