what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
