1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
