Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
