please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
