You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
