**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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