I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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