Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
