It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize