don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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