I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize