I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
