so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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