He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
