ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
