In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
