I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
