FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
