its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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