his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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