you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
