If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
