Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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