our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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