16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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