Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
