who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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