So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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