I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize