your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
