can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
