Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
