Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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