Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
