take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
