i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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