just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
