How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
