He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
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