Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
