it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
