hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
