I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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